In Our Shades
It’s May already? Yikes.
Today I brought a form to the pediatrician to fill out for Carson to start school in the fall. Yikes, again! Since I was already in Bellaire I drove over to Ben’s office and we all went to lunch. Then I picked up a few things at Trader Joe’s and headed home. Both Carson and Betsy fell asleep on the way home. I took Carson upstairs with hopes that he’d go back to sleep. He played around in bed for almost an hour and right around the time I thought it wasn’t going to happen he fell asleep. Betsy and I played around for a while. She’s started pushing up with her legs instead of just her arms when she’s on her tummy, so it’s just a matter of time before we have a mobile Betsy. Now I have to find those baby gates…
I read a really depressing article today. A father writes this article about how much he and his wife are disappointed that they’re having twins…this comes after implanting 2 embryos via IVF. He even writes that he’d hoped one of them would have some genetic abnormality so they had a reason to “reduce”. Both boys are fine so they’re begrudgingly keeping both. Come on! I am so sad for these baby boys whose parents don’t really want them. I sure do hope he writes another article when they’re born talking about how wonderful they are and how he wishes he’d never written the first article.
At first I was so disgusted at this man and all I could think was that he and his wife should not even be parents. But it got me thinking. Isn’t is also horrible to feel and speak negatively about your kids when they’re here? Like how I felt like throwing Betsy out the window (I never did it!!) or saying that I loved her but didn’t like her sometimes? Is it just that he voiced his opinion so publicly that is so disgusting? I guess I wonder if I’m just as bad as this guy in some ways. And that makes me feel terrible. I can only comfort myself by recognizing that one of the big differences is that I never once wished I wasn’t having a baby, and I have never once wished that I didn’t have Carson or Betsy. Things are hard, and sometimes very hard, for sure, and I have definitely wished more than once that Betsy was a happier and easier baby. But I’ve never wished our sweet babies didn’t exist. I don’t know what to think about this man or his wife. I guess maybe they’re just in shock and are totally scared about what life is going to be like when their babies arrive. I hope and pray that they can find some joy in this situation that should be joyous. They did want another baby, after all…they just got two. I know more than one person who would love to be in their shoes.
The lesson I’ve learned from this man’s words, I want our kids to know that we have always and will always love them and never doubt that we wanted them from the moment we found out they were on their way. I should always be conscious of what I’m saying about them, to Ben, to family members, to friends, and on this blog. I love my children and I am so thankful that they are mine, through the good and the bad.
